NOY101

Ang kahulugan ng buhay ay nasa mga maliliit na bagay... yung mga sa tingin natin walang kwenta minsan bumubulaga nalang sa atin bigla, napakahalaga pala... Eto ang mga kawalang kwentahan ng buhay ko...tingnan niyo... malay niyo... mabulaga kayo...

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  • Wednesday, November 03, 2004

    Puwang

    Pauwi, ayoko na sanang umuwi
    Ayoko na sanang harapin
    Gasgas na utak, pikon na damdamin
    Pagod nang magsinungaling

    Ang mga sinasabing
    Kalokohan sa sarili
    Upang ika'y di maisip
    Upang hindi manatili

    * Puwang na di mapunuan
    Tahanan ng dating kasiyahan
    Lokohin ang sarili
    Naghahanap ng rason
    Kung ba't nag-iisa ngayon
    Lokohin ang sarili

    Himbing, gusto ko sanang mahimbing
    Gusto ko sanang ipahinga
    Matang bumibigay, nakikipag-away
    Sa lupit ng salamin...

    sa mga sinasabing
    Kalokohan sa sarili
    Upang ika'y di maisip
    Upang hindi manatili

    (Repeat *)

    Manginggles ka Noy! Whateeslaahb?

    I was driving down South Super Highway when I had this moment. A Eureka moment. The same kind of moment you get on quiet Sunday afternoons when you look up in the air and suddenly just get it. Get what? Get IT! Those split seconds when you get a whiff of living air and just realize that life is beautiful, that there are no problems, that moment where you just breathe in and say to yourself "I'm content, nothing more, Lord..."That moment that in turn just simply goes away and fades into oblivion when you so much as flinch.

    There it was playing inside my brain, the words love... feel... A picture of Morrie comes into my mind's view... he's crying, he's yelling out his famous line... "Love, we have to love, we just have to love..."

    They say the opposite of love is indifference, not hate? How much plainer can the meaning of life take its form... "Love, feel, experience..." Why do we feel suffering? Isn't it that suffering is merely a mechanism... a catapult that lifts us from ground level to heights upon which we see the world in a different level? From up above... or should we say from down below? Isn't it true that when you look through the window of an airplane, that what you see makes you look at the ground differently? with more than one perspective? Isn't it most important to realize that we experience the negatives because of the positives?

    Since I was young, my father kept telling me "Don't despair when you are in your slumps, that only means that the ups are coming soon." Could he have been more correct? The people who we should pity aren't those people who don't suffer... The people we should pity aren't those who haven't experienced heartbreaks, who haven't had hunger pangs, who haven't had insecurities.. The opposite of love is indifference. The people that we should pity are those who have gotten so used to life, that every cheeseburger tastes the same... that every day at work seems like push-ups that you merely have to get over with... The people we should pity are those who do not feel...Who have lost all sense of passion, who just think that their goals in life are their only goals in life...

    When we talk about life's meaning, we usually talk about what we make of ourselves. When we look at what we have become, it doesn't always carry with it the memories of all the hardships, the smiles, the blood, sweat and tears, all that we have experienced along the way. Yes, whether we become successful, whether we become virtuous, whether we become what we want to become is immensely important, but aren't what we went through values in themselves? And because we always remember what we have gone through when we think about what we are, isn't it possible that what we went through is just as important, or maybe even more important than what we have become? When you court a girl for months before you get together, isn't a big part of your relationship related to the courtship? If it isn't, then let's go further, isn't a great part of what you are right now as a couple defined by what you have been through? The answer is yes...

    What is my point? That what we do today and everyday for the rest of our lives. The little things, the daily routines, the things out of the ordinary, the dinner dates, the Saturday night alcoholfest, the way we treat our parents, the way we treat strangers, the way we treat the poor, those things are just as important as whether or not we become successful businessmen, doctors, lawyers... What we do and what we feel everyday is so valuable... In the end, it probably won't matter if we were the greatest lawyers or presidents of our companies... what would matter is how we have helped other people realize that they could feel loved, that they could feel empowered, that they could feel human, that they could feel like themselves... In the end what matters is if we have convinced ourselves that our lives were worth something... In the end what matters is the self and others... That is probably the reason why in the history of mankind, only a few things were considered as basic... the human, the other, and their environment...

    What I probably mean is... let's ask ourselves if other people have felt better because of us, that they felt human... let's ask ourselves if we look at ourselves and we feel satisfied and at the same time, ever hungry to do more, for ourselves and for other people... You could possibly say that life could be compared to a drug... you have only a limited time to enjoy it's effects... and you can do anything from trying to lengthen the hit, to trying to enjoy it yourself, or trying to enjoy it with others... in the end you can't take any of it back...

    Live... please...

    Monday, November 01, 2004

    Ang Pagbabalik: Liwanag At Dilim, Itim at Puti

    Kalahating buwan ang lumipas... ang bilis... Eto, game..

    Memories of College...

    "We are given to God to put our faith therein, but to be forgiven, we must first believe in sin"
    --- Jewel, Innocence Maintained

    Araw-araw tumititig tayo sa iba't ibang halimbawa ng halaga ng kaibahan. Paano malalaman kung ano ang liwanag kung hindi pa nararanasan ang dilim? Paano malalaman ang itim kung walang puti. Paano malalaman kung ano ang pula? ang asul?

    Kaibahan, isang bagay na pinalilibutan tayo, kinalulunuran ng buo nating pagkatao. Noong bata tayo tinuruan tayo ng guro natin kung ano ang masama at kung ano ang mabuti. Palibhasa bata, susunod nang hindi nagtatanong. Naniniwala sa lahat ng sabihin. Ngunit napakagsunduan natin ng ating sarili na ang mabuti ay mabuti nga talaga nang naranasan nating pagmasamaan ng kaklase, agawan ng lapis, kunan sa lunchbox nang walang paalam, dayain sa laro. Naranasan natin ang unang halaga ng kabutihan dahil sa kapalit na parusa kung ito'y susuwayin.

    Kaibahan, isang bagay na laging nandyan, hindi madalas mapansin... Kung walang La Salle, mabubuhay ang Ateneo, pero ang pagkaAteneo ng Ateneo ay nagiging pagkaAteneo ng Ateneo dahil merong La Salle, mortal na kaaway ngunit paalala na parehong magaling na unibersidad. Baliktarin man totoo pa rin, pag walang Ateneo, mabubuhay pa rin ang La Salle, pero hindi na magiging pareho and Pagka La Lalle nila. Tunay nga na sa buhay ng dalawang iskuwelahang ito, hindi malalaman ang asul kung walang berde, at bahagyang nababawasan ang pagkaberde kung walang asul.

    Kaibahan, isang bagay na ginagamit ng tao upang umangat, upang umunlad, upang matuto. Sa pagtanda natin mula sa mga panahong nag-aaral hanggang ngayong nagtatrabaho, iba't ibang mga tao ang inidolo natin, tiningala natin... Madalang lang magkaroon ng taong iisa lang ang pinaghangaan buong buhay nila, Mula sa katalinuhan ng nanay mo, hanggang sa kagalingan ng pananalita nung teacher mo sa acconting, hanggang sa kagalingan makisama ng kaklase mo, hanggang sa determinasyon ng kapatid mong magtagumpay, marami tayong mga nakikita sa iba't ibang bahagi ng buhay natin na mga ugaling gusto natin pantayan, minsa'y gusto nating lampasan. Bakit? Dahil hindi pa tayo ganun, hindi pa tayo ganun kagaling, hindi pa tayo ganun katalino, iba pa tayo. Ngunit itomismong pagkakaiba ang nagtutulak sa atin upang matuto, upang mas gumaling, upang mas tumalino. Maging ang masasamang karanasan natin kasama ang mga taong kasuklam-suklam ang ugali ang nagudyok sa ating sabihin na "hinding hindi ako magiging ganyan." Akalain mong kahit mga masasamang tao ay nakatulong pala sa atin.

    Kaibahan, isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit nabubuhay ang tao. Araw-araw ay nagtatrabaho tayo nang maayos. Bakit? Dahil alam natin na puwede tayong magutom at maghirap kung hindi natin gawin ito. Ang rami rami na nating nakitang nagkaganito. Bakit? Dahil alam natin na pag ginawa natin nang maayos ang trabaho natin, may malaking posibilidad na umasenso. Nakita na rin natin ang mga tao, maaaring kilala natin o napanood o nabasa lang natin, pero alam natin na may mga taong iba sa atin... mayaman... kayang tumayo sa sariling paa. Sa pera lang ba tumitigil ang kaibahan? Isipin natin ang buhay na walang mahirap at mayaman, may libog pa kaya para mabuhay? Ang sagot, oo. Dahil ang tao ay nabubuhay rin upang maging magaling sa kani-kanilang larangan, nabubuhay rin para maging mabuti, maasal kaysa sa iba, maging mabuting ama, ina, kapatid. Maraming mga tao na modelo ng iba't ibang ugali na ito, na gusto nating tularan, at bakit pwede pa nating tularan? Dahil wala pa tayo dun... hindi pa tayo parehas sa kanila... puwede natin silang tularan dahil iba pa rin tayo...

    Kaibahan, itim at puti, liwanag at dilim, hindi ko alam kung bakit ginawa ng Diyos na ganito ang sistema ng bagay-bagay, pero eto, ganito ang mundo. Nabubuhay ang tao nang dahil sa kaibahan. Napakahalagang isipin ito, na hindi lamang tayo nabubuhay para yumaman, para gumaling... Nabubuhay tayo tungo sa isang pagkaperpektong hindi natin kailanman mararating, pero kayod pa rin ng kayod... Sana pag matanda na tayo at binabalikan natin ang buhay natin, makakita tayo ng buhay na puno ng mga gawang ginawa natin hindi lamang para matamo natin ang pagkaperpektong minimithi, kundi ng mga gawang tumulong sa ibang gumaling, tumalino, umasenso, mga gawang tungo sa pagtanggal sa di kailanmang matatanggal na kaibahan...

    Iba...